As most of you all know that we are trying to become parents. I was hit this morning by reality that the phrase "We are trying to become parents" is taking God out of the picture. Now please don't get me wrong we pray about every possible child that we are considering. But our mindsets have not changed. I am still trying to control this situation. Some of what brought my realization on was that we had sent our home study off to South Carolina in hopes that 2 kids would be placed with us. So we received a call this morning telling us that they are on hold and that their case worker has a good lead on a forever home for them. Which one is great for the kids but needless to say I took it a little hard. The other situation was a 16 year that was 31 weeks pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. She was a dependent of an Active Duty member so her Dr. that worked in the clinic immediately thought of Shawn. So the Dr. talk with the parent and the child about their options. When they decided on adoption the doctor mentioned Shawn. They would not even consider us because we were not catholic. I am finding that this journey has more valleys than mountain tops.
As I poured out my heart to God this morning, He gently reminded me that I am not in control. He is in control. He knows the children that will be in our home. I just need to rest in Him and be patient. (Which most of you know is hard for me to do) So as I sat there I turned over our child issues again to God. It is a daily thing that I have to do. Sometimes I have to do this multiple times a day. Our biggest desire is to have a family and I think that at times we let this get in the way of God's plans for us.
Shawn is having surgery on February 9. This should help out some of our issues. Most of you know that I have issues. I have PCOS which is causing my infertility. But it can be corrected or helped along with medications. Which I have been on the medications and I was not getting pregnant. This is when my doctor turned to Shawn and wanted him to get checked out. So Shawn's doctor has discovered an issue that can be corrected with surgery. So he is taking one for the team and having surgery. The doctor said that this will increase our chances of conceiving. That is if my body decides to work right.
So please be in prayer for Shawn on February 9. This will be his first surgery and he is a little nervous. As for our family please pray that we can let God do His job and that we will get our hands out of the way.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Our Holiday Vacation
So it has been awhile since I have written anything. I let time get away from me. I hope that everyone had a Blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year!
As most of you all know Shawn and I seem to like adventures. (not really) So we started our journey on a Friday afternoon. We were going to drive half way and spend the night in Little Rock, AR. I started out our little trip with a sinus infection, yuck. Poor Shawn had to drive the whole way. We arrived to our hotel at midnight to find out that we had to also pay for our dogs to sleep with us, in a cage mind you. Our babies don't get to sleep with us anymore. There is just no room :). So $23 later we made it to our room and crashed for the night.
On Saturday morning bright and early we headed out for Pampa, TX. We got to somewhere in Oklahoma, and as we were driving down the interstate going 70 there was a deer in the median. As Shawn spotted the deer he started slowing down . The deer headed out onto the interstate very slowly. He stood in the middle of the right hand lane that we were in. So Shawn moved into the left lane. Low and behold so did the deer. Shawn then went to the right lane and so did the deer. At this point we are very close and going about 55-60 mph. As we swerved to miss him we clipped the deer on our Right front bumper, finder, and headlight. Needless to say we were not very happy. As some of you know back in October I had a wreck and totaled our car that we had about 5 months. So in the middle of October we bought our Trail Blazer. On December 15 we made our 2ND payment on the car. In the new car we have OnStar. What a great feature. We had no idea where we were but OnStar new exactly. They called the local authorities and we got our call report. We have no idea what happened to the deer. I know it was hurt pretty badly but we could not find it. It was probably best that we did not find it because Shawn probably would have strangled the poor fella. At this point we are mad, tired, and I am still sick. So we finally make it to my parents house in one peace. Now don't get me wrong we are both thankful that we got the minor damage that we did. It could have been worse. As the weekend progressed I got sicker. I ended up having to go to the ER to be seen. Nothing is worse than being away from home and being sick. By Wednesday I was feeling better and back to my old self. Our time in Pampa was great! We had a wonderful Christmas and a great visit with my parents. I love going home because I get spoiled. (that is probably because I am an only Child, or at least that is what Shawn says!)
On Sunday we headed out for Dallas. The trip there was smooth and uneventful. Our time in Dallas was fun. We did lots of shopping. My father in law built us a hand made bed. It is absolutely gorgeous! I will have to take pictures after I finish putting our room back together again. He did a fabulous job. I love it! We rung in the New Year with the Moore's and had a great time. I even did some dance revolution. That was pretty entertaining. Shawn stayed sick the week that we were at his parent's house. ugh!
On Friday we headed back to Georgia. We wanted to leave by 6:30 but ended up not pulling out until 8am. We got a little ways down the road, like 3 exits and had to pull over. Our tarp on the trailer was coming off so we had to stop and fix it. As we were stopped a trucker that had spent the night in the parking lot came over to see if he could help. We ended up talking to him for an hour. We found out that he is a retired Navy Chaplin. It was great to meet another brother in Christ. So by 9am we finally got back on the road and headed home. As we got into Alabama it started raining. It rained on us the rest of the trip. It was about 1:30am before we made it in and we had to unload the trailer so the bed would not be ruined by morning. As I climb out of the car and unlock the house I realize that something is off. I tried turning on lights but nothing happened. Our electricity was turned off. Now I know what you are thinking we forgot to pay our bill. But we actually paid it early because we new it was due while were gone. Shawn actually went in physically and paid it. So that night I could not sleep because I was trying to figure out what had happened. Were we behind, was it there mistake, or what? As I was going through the mail I saw the flint energies disconnect bill. The amount due was the amount that we had paid and it was turned off on Dec. 30. We did not get back until Jan 2. Now I know they got the money because it went through our bank account and I had a receipt for it. So Saturday morning I got up first thing and called Flint energies. The only person I could get a hold of was the power outage operator. She felt sorry for us and had someone come over and turn the power back on. So first thing Monday morning I still had to call and get everything straightened out because they would come back out and turn it off again. So I called and sure enough Flint energies was in the wrong. We were up to date with our bill. The person that took our payment just did not check off all of the boxes or process it right. So now they have to pay for everything that was lost in our fridge. As some of my friends know our freezer stays stocked. So everything totalled to about $175.
So that was our holiday adventures in a nut shell. What fun! We did have great visits with our families. It is always good to be back home. Now we are recovering from our trip. I think I need a vacation from our vacation! :)
As most of you all know Shawn and I seem to like adventures. (not really) So we started our journey on a Friday afternoon. We were going to drive half way and spend the night in Little Rock, AR. I started out our little trip with a sinus infection, yuck. Poor Shawn had to drive the whole way. We arrived to our hotel at midnight to find out that we had to also pay for our dogs to sleep with us, in a cage mind you. Our babies don't get to sleep with us anymore. There is just no room :). So $23 later we made it to our room and crashed for the night.
On Saturday morning bright and early we headed out for Pampa, TX. We got to somewhere in Oklahoma, and as we were driving down the interstate going 70 there was a deer in the median. As Shawn spotted the deer he started slowing down . The deer headed out onto the interstate very slowly. He stood in the middle of the right hand lane that we were in. So Shawn moved into the left lane. Low and behold so did the deer. Shawn then went to the right lane and so did the deer. At this point we are very close and going about 55-60 mph. As we swerved to miss him we clipped the deer on our Right front bumper, finder, and headlight. Needless to say we were not very happy. As some of you know back in October I had a wreck and totaled our car that we had about 5 months. So in the middle of October we bought our Trail Blazer. On December 15 we made our 2ND payment on the car. In the new car we have OnStar. What a great feature. We had no idea where we were but OnStar new exactly. They called the local authorities and we got our call report. We have no idea what happened to the deer. I know it was hurt pretty badly but we could not find it. It was probably best that we did not find it because Shawn probably would have strangled the poor fella. At this point we are mad, tired, and I am still sick. So we finally make it to my parents house in one peace. Now don't get me wrong we are both thankful that we got the minor damage that we did. It could have been worse. As the weekend progressed I got sicker. I ended up having to go to the ER to be seen. Nothing is worse than being away from home and being sick. By Wednesday I was feeling better and back to my old self. Our time in Pampa was great! We had a wonderful Christmas and a great visit with my parents. I love going home because I get spoiled. (that is probably because I am an only Child, or at least that is what Shawn says!)
On Sunday we headed out for Dallas. The trip there was smooth and uneventful. Our time in Dallas was fun. We did lots of shopping. My father in law built us a hand made bed. It is absolutely gorgeous! I will have to take pictures after I finish putting our room back together again. He did a fabulous job. I love it! We rung in the New Year with the Moore's and had a great time. I even did some dance revolution. That was pretty entertaining. Shawn stayed sick the week that we were at his parent's house. ugh!
On Friday we headed back to Georgia. We wanted to leave by 6:30 but ended up not pulling out until 8am. We got a little ways down the road, like 3 exits and had to pull over. Our tarp on the trailer was coming off so we had to stop and fix it. As we were stopped a trucker that had spent the night in the parking lot came over to see if he could help. We ended up talking to him for an hour. We found out that he is a retired Navy Chaplin. It was great to meet another brother in Christ. So by 9am we finally got back on the road and headed home. As we got into Alabama it started raining. It rained on us the rest of the trip. It was about 1:30am before we made it in and we had to unload the trailer so the bed would not be ruined by morning. As I climb out of the car and unlock the house I realize that something is off. I tried turning on lights but nothing happened. Our electricity was turned off. Now I know what you are thinking we forgot to pay our bill. But we actually paid it early because we new it was due while were gone. Shawn actually went in physically and paid it. So that night I could not sleep because I was trying to figure out what had happened. Were we behind, was it there mistake, or what? As I was going through the mail I saw the flint energies disconnect bill. The amount due was the amount that we had paid and it was turned off on Dec. 30. We did not get back until Jan 2. Now I know they got the money because it went through our bank account and I had a receipt for it. So Saturday morning I got up first thing and called Flint energies. The only person I could get a hold of was the power outage operator. She felt sorry for us and had someone come over and turn the power back on. So first thing Monday morning I still had to call and get everything straightened out because they would come back out and turn it off again. So I called and sure enough Flint energies was in the wrong. We were up to date with our bill. The person that took our payment just did not check off all of the boxes or process it right. So now they have to pay for everything that was lost in our fridge. As some of my friends know our freezer stays stocked. So everything totalled to about $175.
So that was our holiday adventures in a nut shell. What fun! We did have great visits with our families. It is always good to be back home. Now we are recovering from our trip. I think I need a vacation from our vacation! :)
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Thanksgiving
I want to make my list of all that I am thankful for
I am thankful for:
The Grace of God
For my right to own a bible and attend church
for Shawn
For my parents
For Shawn's parents
Chad, Rachel, and Megan
Susun
My extended family
Shawn's extended family
For my next breath
for a roof over my head
for the money to pay for my needs
We as Americans take so many things for granted. Such as food, a home, and running water. We have no idea what it is like to live without nothing. So I am taking note everyday for the little things and being thankful for those things. For example do you even think about being thankful for flipping the light switch and bam you have lights? I know I don't. What about when you turn the faucet on and water comes out? Are you thankful? How about this turning the key in your car and it automatically starts up? Are you thankful? I take all of these things for granted. You know the saying stop and smell the roses, well shouldn't we stop and smell the roses? Be thankful for what you have and do not take it for granted!!!!
I am thankful for:
The Grace of God
For my right to own a bible and attend church
for Shawn
For my parents
For Shawn's parents
Chad, Rachel, and Megan
Susun
My extended family
Shawn's extended family
For my next breath
for a roof over my head
for the money to pay for my needs
We as Americans take so many things for granted. Such as food, a home, and running water. We have no idea what it is like to live without nothing. So I am taking note everyday for the little things and being thankful for those things. For example do you even think about being thankful for flipping the light switch and bam you have lights? I know I don't. What about when you turn the faucet on and water comes out? Are you thankful? How about this turning the key in your car and it automatically starts up? Are you thankful? I take all of these things for granted. You know the saying stop and smell the roses, well shouldn't we stop and smell the roses? Be thankful for what you have and do not take it for granted!!!!
Heading into the New Year!
So I don't make New Year's Resolutions because I know that I won't keep them. So every year I asked God what next. What is it that You want me to do with this year. One of the questions that our Pastor has asked us is: "What are you going to trust God for this year?" My answer to this is a two part answer. The first thing that I am going to trust God for is Shawn's job. We are wanting to move from here but we want to make sure that we are in God's will first. My second answer is that we are going to trust God for a child. I have wrestled with this issue for many many years. I trust God somewhat but still hold on and try to control parts of it. So for the year 2009 and I am not going to doubt that God will give us a child.
Our pastor is laying out over the next few services a Faith P.L.A.N. Here is what the first part says:
1. Prepare today for tomorrow's opprotunites- Ephesians 5:15-16.
1.) Prepare by Faith because there Are:
a.)Surprising interruptions in Life-Judges 6:11-16
"Champions don't become champions in the ring-merely
recongnized there." Dr. Jerry Falwell
b.)Unexpected opprotunities in life- 1 Samuel 17:33-40
"The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his time, when it
comes." Benjamin Disraeli
In the Judges verse Giddeon was a coward. He did not want to stand up to the Midianites. But if you notice God calls Giddeon a warrior. This is even before Giddeon is a warrior. God knows what lies ahead of us, what paths were are going to take. So God knew Giddeon was going to be a mighty warrior. Take confidence in what God has pre-planned for you.
In the Samuel verse David is going up against Goliath. No one believed in him. But David knew exactly what God can do. So he had the courage because the Lord was with him. I want to have the faith that David has. God took a little Sheppard boy and made him into a King. David did not know he would be king one day he trusted God at the moment to get him through this battle in life. He had FAITH!
2.)Practical Steps to Prepare for Tomorrow's Opprotunities:
1.)Never Allow those who "will not" tell you that "you cannot"
David did not let the king sway him to back down from the fight against
Goliath
2.)Study the battle plans before tomorrow's battle- read the Word
Psalm 8- David wrote this passage before the battle of Goliath- He knew
how great God was/is , David had faith in God
3.)Learn How to use the sword and shield- memorize the word
4.)Keep your life spiritually sharp-get in a Sunday school Class or bible study
5.)Do something radical in the faith- Get your passport. (basically saying be
prepared for where God can take you)
I hope that the above makes sense. Basically what I am trying to say in a nut shell. Wherever God palces us for a season of life we need to trust Him, have Faith God.
Our pastor is laying out over the next few services a Faith P.L.A.N. Here is what the first part says:
1. Prepare today for tomorrow's opprotunites- Ephesians 5:15-16.
1.) Prepare by Faith because there Are:
a.)Surprising interruptions in Life-Judges 6:11-16
"Champions don't become champions in the ring-merely
recongnized there." Dr. Jerry Falwell
b.)Unexpected opprotunities in life- 1 Samuel 17:33-40
"The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his time, when it
comes." Benjamin Disraeli
In the Judges verse Giddeon was a coward. He did not want to stand up to the Midianites. But if you notice God calls Giddeon a warrior. This is even before Giddeon is a warrior. God knows what lies ahead of us, what paths were are going to take. So God knew Giddeon was going to be a mighty warrior. Take confidence in what God has pre-planned for you.
In the Samuel verse David is going up against Goliath. No one believed in him. But David knew exactly what God can do. So he had the courage because the Lord was with him. I want to have the faith that David has. God took a little Sheppard boy and made him into a King. David did not know he would be king one day he trusted God at the moment to get him through this battle in life. He had FAITH!
2.)Practical Steps to Prepare for Tomorrow's Opprotunities:
1.)Never Allow those who "will not" tell you that "you cannot"
David did not let the king sway him to back down from the fight against
Goliath
2.)Study the battle plans before tomorrow's battle- read the Word
Psalm 8- David wrote this passage before the battle of Goliath- He knew
how great God was/is , David had faith in God
3.)Learn How to use the sword and shield- memorize the word
4.)Keep your life spiritually sharp-get in a Sunday school Class or bible study
5.)Do something radical in the faith- Get your passport. (basically saying be
prepared for where God can take you)
I hope that the above makes sense. Basically what I am trying to say in a nut shell. Wherever God palces us for a season of life we need to trust Him, have Faith God.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
The Election
I am very disappointed in my generation. We have just allowed our country to take one step closer to a socialistic government. It is so sad. After listening to the news and hearing from voters that voted for Obama it broke my heart. They voted for him based on his skin color not his policies. I am not a racist and if Obama had good policies and was pro-life I would have voted for him. But our country is in a world of hurt. My husband's job could be at stake. The military is our life. We love it and now our future is uncertain. I have posted a link for a video from Howard Stern. I am not a Howard Stern fan but this video shows you just how ignorant the voters were.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyvqhdllXgU
Go and check this out you will be surprised.
I think now it is time for Christians to stop becoming complacent and stand up for our country. We need to bring God back into our churches and back into our nation. Our country was built on God's word. We have laughed in the face of God. We as Christians take for granted our freedom to be able to worship whenever we want to. Before too long we won't have that right. It makes my heart break for those that just want to set back and "be safe" . There is no doubt that Tuesday was a defining moment in US history. It was a historical election. I will agree with that. Our country has come a long way. But when did we stop voting based on the canidates policies and start voting on the color of their skin?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyvqhdllXgU
Go and check this out you will be surprised.
I think now it is time for Christians to stop becoming complacent and stand up for our country. We need to bring God back into our churches and back into our nation. Our country was built on God's word. We have laughed in the face of God. We as Christians take for granted our freedom to be able to worship whenever we want to. Before too long we won't have that right. It makes my heart break for those that just want to set back and "be safe" . There is no doubt that Tuesday was a defining moment in US history. It was a historical election. I will agree with that. Our country has come a long way. But when did we stop voting based on the canidates policies and start voting on the color of their skin?
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Bearing my Heart
Out of my devestation this week came an overwhelming amount of peace. Now it has taken awhile to get to this place but I have made it. This past weekend I had my time of yelling at God and asking Him WHY!!! I shed many tears and fought off depression but through the grace of God I have come out on the other side.
God all ready knew that this would happen and he placed a special lady in my life to help me through. Now don't get me wrong our friends have been the best during this time and without them as well we wouldn't have made it. But there was one special lady that spoke truth to me. She let me vent, be angry with God and then she put me in my place. Of course she did it out of love. But I needed her and God used her to speak to me. She asked me a few very tough questions and those were: "Have you given your desire to have children completely over to God? Have you laid your desire at the foot of the cross and walked away from it? And finally Are you able to tell God whatever the outcome I will still serve you?" My response to her was this: "You know Shawn asked me these very questions a few months ago and my reply to him was that I was not ready to give that up to God because I was afraid of what His answer to me would be." She then told me you know what you need to do Lay it down and walk away and out of that God will bless you.
She stressed to me that if I did not leave my burden at the cross then God could not truely bless me. The more that I hold onto my burden the more trials I am going to go through because is trying to teach me to just trust Him. She also encouraged me to be like Hannah. God belseed her bearaness and her faithfulness with Samuel and look what kind of man Samuel turned out to be.
So this week I have been prayering and seeking the face of God in this matter. I have finally laid down my desire to have children at His feet and I have walked away. I know that God's plans are better than I could even begin to imagine for me. He sees the whole picture and I see just a tiny puzzle piece. So I know I just need to trust him.
Some of the passages that I have clinged to our now my foundation for this new season of life that I am in. They are:
2 Peter 1:3 "His divine power has given us EVERYTHING we NEED for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness."
1 Peter 4:12-19 "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. (13) But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. (14) If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. (15) If you suffer, it should be not as a murderer or thief or an other kind of criminal or even as a meddler. (16) However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear the name. (19) So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good."
1 Peter 5:6 &10 (6) "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. (10) And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast."
So there is my heart laid out. I want to thank everyone for their prayers. I have felt them and needed them. I rest in the fact that I know God has great plans for Shawn and I. I can't wait to see His plan unfold.
God all ready knew that this would happen and he placed a special lady in my life to help me through. Now don't get me wrong our friends have been the best during this time and without them as well we wouldn't have made it. But there was one special lady that spoke truth to me. She let me vent, be angry with God and then she put me in my place. Of course she did it out of love. But I needed her and God used her to speak to me. She asked me a few very tough questions and those were: "Have you given your desire to have children completely over to God? Have you laid your desire at the foot of the cross and walked away from it? And finally Are you able to tell God whatever the outcome I will still serve you?" My response to her was this: "You know Shawn asked me these very questions a few months ago and my reply to him was that I was not ready to give that up to God because I was afraid of what His answer to me would be." She then told me you know what you need to do Lay it down and walk away and out of that God will bless you.
She stressed to me that if I did not leave my burden at the cross then God could not truely bless me. The more that I hold onto my burden the more trials I am going to go through because is trying to teach me to just trust Him. She also encouraged me to be like Hannah. God belseed her bearaness and her faithfulness with Samuel and look what kind of man Samuel turned out to be.
So this week I have been prayering and seeking the face of God in this matter. I have finally laid down my desire to have children at His feet and I have walked away. I know that God's plans are better than I could even begin to imagine for me. He sees the whole picture and I see just a tiny puzzle piece. So I know I just need to trust him.
Some of the passages that I have clinged to our now my foundation for this new season of life that I am in. They are:
2 Peter 1:3 "His divine power has given us EVERYTHING we NEED for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness."
1 Peter 4:12-19 "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. (13) But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. (14) If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. (15) If you suffer, it should be not as a murderer or thief or an other kind of criminal or even as a meddler. (16) However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear the name. (19) So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good."
1 Peter 5:6 &10 (6) "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. (10) And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast."
So there is my heart laid out. I want to thank everyone for their prayers. I have felt them and needed them. I rest in the fact that I know God has great plans for Shawn and I. I can't wait to see His plan unfold.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Our New Addition!!
So some of ya'll know what happened to us yesterday. We got a phone call at o12:15pm wanting to know if we would like to take in a baby. Of course we said YES!!!!!!!!! She was born October 13, 2008 at 8:40 pm she was 6.5 pounds and 19 inches long! She is so precious. God has overwhelmed us with his goodness this week. A new car and a new baby to put into the car.
Now the journey is going to be a long one with lots of ups and downs. Right now she is considered a Foster child but this is how it works. Eventually her status will change but it may take awhile before it does. So please be in prayer for us as we start this journey.
So last night was definitely a long night. We were up about every hour and a half. Not much sleep but there are NO complaints here!!!!! I enjoyed every minute of it. Shawn took a couple of shifts and did fabulous with her. We are enjoying our time with her and can't wait for her to meet all of our friends and family!
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